Always
by sweetcheesecake
Summary: "I can't believe it hurts this much to remember." In order to protect Naruto, she kills the boy she loves the most.


"Sakura, what happened?"

She shook her head with a small smile on her face. "Nothing, Naruto."

He looked down at her worriedly, his cerulean eyes full of confusion. She turned her head to look up at him, her smile faltering slightly.

"Why do you ask?" she asked absentmindedly.

Naruto regarded her warily before answering, "You were crying."

Her eyes widened slightly. She nodded her head slowly. "Oh, yes. I was happy."

And then she flashed him a bright smile and Naruto became startled at her odd behavior.

"But…you were screaming."

She stared at him. "I was? I didn't notice."

"O-oh." He stuttered, confused. "Why were you happy?"

Her smile widened and Naruto found himself grinning foolishly back at her, her smile contagious.

"I had a really good dream," she said.

Naruto's hand came up and ruffled her hair pink hair playfully, chuckling.

"Did you dream about kicking my ass, again?"

She laughed, too. "No, Naruto."

**.**

**.**

**.**

"I dreamed about _him_."

**.**

**.**

**.**

Naruto's hand slipped off her head before dropping limply to his side. The boy felt his throat turn dry and all the energy leave him.

"You…dreamed about him," he repeated, his voice cracking. He wet his dry lips. "Who?" he asked.

Her eyes did not see him as she continued smiling.

"Sasuke-kun," she breathed softly.

"I dreamed about Sasuke-kun."

**.**

**.**

**.**

Naruto felt his head start to hurt and his chest start to tear.

"Sakura-chan." His voice broke.

Her smile was gone, her expression withdrawn. Her eyes closed slowly and in the span of a few seconds, it had seemed that she had aged many years.

"I miss him."

**.**

**.**

**.**

**blur. **

Naruto had nightmares ever since he died. Every single night.

Every night, he watched his first love kill his best friend.

He was haunted by the face of the dark haired boy, pale, bleeding and eyes, eternally sad.

"_I wish…I could have lived for her."_

His sharigan fades as his eyes start to droop closed. The curse marks are receding. His chest has a large gaping hole in it. And then he's dead and Sakura only stares blankly before turning to regard Naruto mechanically.

"_You are alright?" _she asks and reaches toward him with her bloody hands.

He wakes up choking, unable to scream. Only after he vomits does he remember; there were tears glistening brightly on her cheek.

**.**

**.**

**.**

The nightmares began to fade after a while. Sakura helped a lot.

Naruto would wake up in her arms, shaking and trembling. Sometimes, he'd cry and she would just stroke his hair gently, silently.

Unlike Naruto, Sakura did not dream.

And so she started to forget. She forgot the way his hair lingered over his eyes and the way his lips quirked up in an arrogant smirk, and the slight indent in his brow when he was worried about her.

Tsunade said she went insane for some time with the pain. The Hokage had had to sedate her and feed her medicine. During her recovery, she had started to forget. As she healed, her mind never retained the memory of the dark-haired boy she loved so dearly.

As Naruto's nightmares faded, he spoke less of Sasuke. They eventually stopped speaking of him completely and so he disappeared from her mind. His face was just a blur and his memory was just a dream. Somehow, her beloved picture of her genin team was misplaced and as there were no other photographs of Sasuke, there was nothing for her to gaze at to remind herself that _this_ was the boy she loved. _He_ was the only one, the only one who could ever complete her.

She thought she would remember; she was sure she would dream, but she didn't. When she did, it didn't seem real. Itachi was dead and no one spoke of the Uchiha. No one talked of it so she began to believe it was all a nightmare. There was never a Sasuke to begin with, she had never fallen in love, and she had never killed a man, ever.

She was not a murderer.

Day by day, the pain left her, and she healed. Her empty heart grew whole again and filled with love when she gazed upon Naruto, at her parents, and at Tsunade.

She was happy for the longest time.

Sometimes, she'd look at Naruto, and for the strangest reason, her heart would start to ache. It was almost like…there was someone else there. But she shrugged it off. Naruto wondered how it was so easy for her to forget. He wondered if it was right, but…she was happy, and that was what mattered. Sasuke valued her happiness the most, her life the most. That's why he let her kill him. He was succumbing to the curse mark anyway; if Sakura had not struck, he would have killed Naruto and her.

"_I wish…I could have lived for her."_

But Naruto had seen his eyes and her tears, and he knew.

He loved her.

She loved him.

But he was gone and she was in love with a forgotten memory.

**.**

**.**

**.**

One night, she did dream.

**.**

**.**

**.**

Sakura woke up screaming. She couldn't stop screaming, even when she was out of air to breathe. Naruto had come in shortly after, making his daily rounds to her house.

When she registered that he was there with her, she stopped and started to cry. Naruto had shaken her earnestly, anxious and frightened.

"Sakura-chan? Sakura-chan?"

She wouldn't reply.

I can't believe I forgot.

I can't believe I forgot.

I can't…

.

.

.

I can't believe it hurts this much to _remember_.

**.**

**.**

**.**

I killed the boy I loved.

.

.

.

All the strength drained out of his body then. At that moment, when she spoke his name, the name of their long deceased friend, he felt his heart break along with Sakura's.

Oh, Sakura-chan. Why did you have to remember?

Naruto watched silently in horror, rooted to the spot as Sakura's eyes snapped tightly shut. Her hands came up to cover her face as salty tears started to flow freely from her eyes.

She fell to her knees.

Memories. They overwhelmed her.

She saw Sasuke as a young boy, the first time she caught sight of him. The first time she fell in love with him.

His mutilated body, by her own hand.

His smiling face. She liked to pretend that only she ever saw his smiling face.

The murder in his eyes, the trembling of her own hand as she drives the blade into his vulnerable body.

How he was beautiful, even so in death.

.

.

.

Memories.

_How does it hurt this much to _remember_?_

.

.

.

She screamed.

SASUKE-KUN


End file.
